hand over the valium. (warning: venting ahead)

2010 has just not been good to me. i got strep/bronchitis, busted up my bod snowboarding, lost an awesome roommate and gained a totally boring frailperson, had twitter and gchat blocked at work, and then today.

today was arguably the most frustrating day possible. I DO NOT CRY, EVER, and i went straight home after work and cried for 2 hours. i cried on the phone, into my pillow, and it wasn’t even out of sadness. i’m FRUSTRATED and ANNOYED.

i got a phone call this morning telling me there is a maternity leave at HQ (back in milwaukee) that they want me to cover. it’d be doing exactly what i’m doing now, except for a MAJOR, MAJOR, PICKY PICKY client and therefore 3-4 months of STRESS CITY and GETTING YELLED AT ALL THE TIME.

i was flustered enough with 304325730948 things going on at the same time and not going well, so i asked if we could talk tomorrow, which he agreed to.

all day i thought about it, compiled some pros/cons, sought the opinions of other coworkers, friends, and my parents, and you know what?

I DON’T WANT TO DO IT.

i don’t care that it “would really help out” or that he “could pretty much guarantee the future rotations [i] want.”  i like what i’m doing now, but not enough to continue longer, and certainly not in a stressful environment.  i am so ready to be done with it.  i mean, my end date of april 23 is highlighted and covered in gold freaking glitter on my wall calendar.  seriously. i’m going to throw a party for myself and my sanity when it’s all said and done.

the biggest frustration is that i basically have no information at this point. i get it, HQ didn’t want me to have the conversation at my desk with other people around, and i was the one who asked for the friday meeting…so i booked a conference room and i’ll hear them out, but i have about 12 points i need to make.

i’ve pretty much been super flexible in letting them send me anywhere, since that’s what i enjoy…but now that there’s actually something I want, I feel like they’re telling me I can’t ever have it.

AND I’M SORRY, BUT THERE ARE NO GUARANTEES WHEN IT COMES TO FUTURE ROTATIONS. IF I’M STUCK IN HQ WAITING FOR A SPOT IN PRICING TO OPEN UP, I COULD BE THERE FOR A VERY LONG TIME. THERE ARE 5 PEOPLE LEAVING PRICING AT THE SAME TIME I’M DONE HERE. I WANT TO TAKE ONE OF THEIR PLACES!!!

sorry.

the phone call is at 9 am. if it takes longer than an hour, i’m thinking about yelling “CONSIDER THIS A CELLULAR PUNCH IN THE FACE!” into the phone and hanging up. i won’t, but it’s fun to visualize. and then i’m going to drive to the airport, pick up my best friend, vent to her (again) during the ride back, and then we will go and drink, drink, drink until i forget all about it.

wish me luck. i’ll keep you posted. let’s be real, i’ll probably update as soon as it’s over.